Wednesday, September 24. 2008sexual object vs. subjective sexualityOur society portrays and treats women as sexual objects. As a result, girls and women often come to see themselves as sexual objects, spending their time focusing on how they look to others and how desirable they are to others, at the expense of developing a subjective sexuality. Subjective sexuality is how your body feels to you from the inside, rather than how it looks to others. Subjective sexuality is what your desires are, rather than your desirability to others. When we look at ourselves as sexual objects, we take an outsider's view of ourselves. We literally must step outside our bodies to look back at ourselves. How can we be sexual from outside our bodies? How can we experience our sexuality, and not just our "sexiness"? How much time do you spend viewing yourself from an outside perspective (how you look, how you come across)? How much of your sexuality is wrapped up in this objective perspective? How developed is your subjective sexuality? What feelings arise as you imagine paying more attention to your subjective sexual experiences?
sexual object vs. subjective sexuality Posted by The Joy Project
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Comments (0) Trackbacks (0) Wednesday, September 24. 2008RECLAIMING THE BODY'S WISDOMDr. Johnston did my job for me this chapter! Look at the questions on pages 113-114. Additionally: Do you note any pattern in your eating disorder that go along with your cycle? If so, how do you react to these changes? Do you scold yourself or get upset? Dr. Johnston suggests that it is normal to eat more or less during certain parts of your cycle and for your weight to fluctuate along with your cycle. She also suggests that increased emotional sensitivity can be embraced as a time to become more in tune with your emotions and listen to what your body has to say. Extreme emotions during this time may be due to suppression of these emotions at other times of the month. How might you treat yourself differently during your cycle so that it can become helpful to you, rather than a "curse"?
RECLAIMING THE BODY'S WISDOM Posted by The Joy Project
in Eating in the Light of the Moon at
08:08
Comments (0) Trackbacks (0) Friday, September 12. 2008DreamsDr. Johnston explains how dreams speak to us in metaphor. Objects, characters, events, and locations in dreams are symbols. For example, children and parents in dreams may symbolize be our inner parents and inner children. Relationships in dreams may represent relationships between parts of ourselves rather than with external people. Learning to interpret your dreams and become familiar with the language of metaphor can also help you to interpret your eating disorders. As discussed previously, eating disorders also speak to us in metaphor. Use the questions on page 107 to help you begin to search for meanings in your dreams. Try to recapture the feelings of your dreams and ask yourself what in your waking life carries those same feelings. Don't worry about coming up with the "right" interpretation. Any interpretation that feels meaningful and useful is right. This may take a lot of practice, so let go of your expectations, have fun with it, tap your creativity, and allow yourself to consider any possible interpretations that occur to you. Just like recovery, this will become more natural and useful with time and practice.
Dreams Posted by The Joy Project
in Eating in the Light of the Moon at
17:50
Comments (0) Trackbacks (0) Friday, September 12. 2008IntuitionDr. Johnston defines intuition as a different way of knowing that involves our bodies, our hearts, and our spirits. It is our gut feelings and body signals, our instincts, impulses, and hunches. Most of us have been encouraged to tune out our intuition and instead take our cues from the external world. Where do you usually turn for guidance, yourself or outside sources? When you turn to yourself, do you turn to your thought processes or your intuition? Are you aware of your intuition? Do you trust your intuition? Why or why not? Following your intuition means looking within for creative solutions, honoring your emotions, and acting on what feels right. Dr. Johnston claims that when we follow our intuition we feel more energetic and powerful and things seem to flow, whereas when we disregard our inuition we feel stuck, helpless, and powerless. Can you think of a time when you followed your intuition? How did it feel? Can you think of a time when you disregarded your intuition? How did that feel? What does your intuition tell you about your recovery? Are there any ways in which your intuition is in opposition to external instructions you have received? Which are you following, and how does that feel?
Intuition Posted by The Joy Project
in Eating in the Light of the Moon at
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Comments (0) Trackbacks (0) Wednesday, September 3. 2008Your Inner MotherThe inner mother is a source of nourishment and compassionate guidance. Dr. Johnston claims that women with eating disorder often have an inadequate or underdeveloped inner mother. What does the voice of your inner mother sound like? How do you speak to yourself? Are you a good mother to yourself, or are you abusive, overprotective, controlling, harsh, etc? Is your inner mother like or unlike your external mother? In what ways have you internalized, or failed to internalize, the voice of your external mother? Dr. Johnston asserts that we have the capacity to develop a mature, strong, nourishing inner mother, with the help of or in spite of whatever external mothering we may have received. This can be done by treating yourself the way you would treat a child whom you deeply care for. What changes do you need to make to your inner mother? What external sources can you look to as models of a strong and nourishing inner mother? Can you imagine, or draw from real experiences, tender maternal feelings towards a child and apply these feelings to yourself? Is this a new feeling for you? Wednesday, September 3. 2008Power of Domination vs. Power of DominionDr. Johnston describes two types of power: power of domination and power of dominion. Power of domination is associated with masculinity and is based on hierarchy; one person has power over another. Power of dominion is associated with femininity and is based on equality; this power comes from within and can coexist alongside the power of others. What are your experiences with these types of power? How has the power of domination been present in your life? Have you experienced the power of dominion in yourself or in others? Dr. Johnston describes the beauty of the power of dominion. With this type of power, a woman can hold on to her power without depleting someone else's. She can feel and express the full power of her emotions without attacking or hurting others. She can be comfortable with differences of opinions and not feel that her own power is threatened, or that she is threatening someone else's, when a difference is expressed. She can be assertive and enter relationships that honor the personal power of each individual. How does this sound to you? Does this change how you feel about relating to others? Wednesday, September 3. 2008Fear of PowerDr. Johnston discusses how most women with eating disorders experience a sense of powerlessness. In what ways do you feel powerless in your life and with your eating disorder? Dr. Johnston also discusses how some professionals treat this sense of powerlessness by telling women what they need to do, e.g. what to eat, to recover. Has this been your experience? Is this what you desire? Why or why not? In contrast, Dr. Johnston suggests that women with eating disorders need to be reconnected with their own inner guidance. She suggests that women with eating disorders may be afraid of their inner authority. Does this resonate with you? If you do prefer that a therapist tell you what to do, could it be because you distrust or are disconnected from your own inner guidance? Consider the questions posed on pages 67-68: Remember your early experiences with your personal power; were you able to feel things others didn't? How did others respond when you described your perceptions? What about the times you felt that you did something well? How was that received? Were there secrets you felt compelled to keep? In what way did you discover that the full expression of your power was considered dangerous? When did you first find it difficult to be yourself with all of your power and be in a relationship at the same time? What aspects of your power scare you, and what aspects of your power do you distrust? The power of your sexuality? Your intellectual power? The power of your anger or other emotions? The power of your appetites--for food, love, closeness, sex? The power of your intuition?
Fear of Power Posted by The Joy Project
in Eating in the Light of the Moon at
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Comments (0) Trackbacks (0) Sunday, August 24. 2008Dr. Johnston Video Clip
Dr. Johnston Video Clip Posted by The Joy Project
in Eating in the Light of the Moon at
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Comments (0) Trackbacks (0) Thursday, August 14. 2008Connected and SeparateDr. Johnston discusses how women must be able to be with and attend to others without losing or hiding their true selves if they are to have healthy, fulfilling relationships. To do this they must stop asking themselves how others will think, feel, and react and begin to identify and express their own thoughts, feelings, and reactions. They must learn to balance their needs for connection and belongingness (feminine side) with their needs for separateness and autonomy (masculine side). They must not sacrifice one side for the other but learn to bring them into balance and harmony. Does this seem easier said than done? Don't worry--we'll learn more in the chapters on Power and Assertiveness!
Connected and Separate Posted by The Joy Project
in Eating in the Light of the Moon at
11:28
Comments (0) Trackbacks (0) Thursday, August 14. 2008Do you sing your song?Dr. Johnston characterizes individuals with eating disorders as often being unable to show their true selves to others. Do you see yourself in any of the following descriptions?: - Allow others to define how they should be, what they should look like, what they should do, what they should want - Unable to hear their own inner voices - Feel a vague but ever-present sense of alienation that is hard to bear - Because they feel so disconnected from themselves, they cling desperately to their relationships with others - Quick to discard their own ideas and values whenever conflict arises - Have become so adept at listening to the needs, wishes, and values of others that they have forgotten their own Do you sing your own song or do you often bite your tongue? Do you find yourself outwardly agreeing with others or remaining silent when in fact you feel differently inside? Do you share your preferences or let others make decisions, saying and perhaps believing "I don't care"? Do you offer your opinions first or wait to make sure others feel the same? Do you feel like you can openly disagree with others, even on major issues, and still maintain mutual respect and friendship? Are you a "people pleaser"?
Do you sing your song? Posted by The Joy Project
in Eating in the Light of the Moon at
11:13
Comments (0) Trackbacks (0) Tuesday, August 12. 2008Accepting FeelingsDr. Johnston asserts that feelings are not "good" or "bad". They just are. A feeling is only negative if we can't accept it in ourselves. She also states that it is difficult to understand a feeling until it has been completely experienced. Do you accept all of your emotions, or do you try to change them before they have run their course? Do you judge your emotions? Do you tell yourself how you should and shouldn't feel? (It's no big deal, get over it, there's no reason to feel this way, you're overreacting...) Dr. Johnston assures us that feelings will pass if allowed to be. Do you believe this? Try it sometime! Make an effort to be with your emotions. Notice them without judging them or trying to change them. Watch them as they arise, grow, peak, and fade away. Begin to learn how to identify precisely what you are feeling. A list of emotions such as can be found at http://www.umpi.maine.edu/~petress/feelinga.pdf might be helpful in the beginning.
Accepting Feelings Posted by The Joy Project
in Eating in the Light of the Moon at
09:00
Comments (0) Trackbacks (0) Tuesday, August 12. 2008How do you feel?Dr. Johnston states that women who struggle with disordered eating tend to be more afraid of their feelings than most. They may live in their heads, thinking too much and feeling too little. How much attention do you pay to your feelings? Are you able to name your feelings or is it difficult for you to identify your emotions? Do you let your emotions come and go freely or do you attempt to change how you feel? Do you openly express your feelings or do you hold them inside? Which specific emotions are troublesome for you? Are you able to outwardly express your anger? Do you allow yourself to feel sad, or do you try to escape from your sadness? Loneliness? Emptiness? Shame? How does your eating disorder help distract you from your emotions as they arise? Dr. Johnston discusses how feelings that are blocked and pushed down rather than allowed to run their course and be felt and expressed accumulate over time. Our ability to detect our emotions as they arise fades and we aren't aware of them until "they get so intense that they consume us." Do you notice subtle emotions come and go throughout the day, or are you only aware of sudden, intense emotion? Might your attitude towards emotions actually be making them more intense and less manageable?
How do you feel? Posted by The Joy Project
in Eating in the Light of the Moon at
08:45
Comments (0) Trackbacks (0) Tuesday, August 12. 2008The Functions of an Eating DisorderDr. Johnston describes several ways that we may use eating behaviors to try to meet other needs. See if any of these sound applicable to you: - In an attempt to feel emotionally nourished, we feed ourselves food, not realizing it is love we are hungry for - By starving or bingeing, we are able to disconnect from our bodily sensations so that we can't feel what's inside - During or after bingeing, a numbing sensation may block out all feelings - Food and related preoccupations can serve as a constant companion for those who feel a pervasive sense of loneliness and emptiness - Eating (or other behaviors related to your ED) becomes something to do to fill up empty space in your life Which of these functions does your eating disorder serve for you? Can you think of any others? What is your eating disorder trying to tell you about what you are hungry for and what things you need in your life? Once you make these discoveries, you can begin to look for healthier ways to directly get what your soul longs for. Sunday, July 27. 2008Control and the here and nowDr. Johnston asserts that addictions are an effort to keep the flow of life under control. She says "the addicted person is unable to let things be, unable to let things take their natural course. There is always some right way, some better way, some more perfect way things can be." In what ways is this true for you? Does your eating disorder make you feel in control, out of control, or both? What things do you wish to control? How do your efforts to control keep you from experiencing the present moment? Dr. Johnston asserts that addictions "keep us from being fully present in the moment with ourselves, our feelings, our friends, our lovers, or with whomever or whatever might have captured our attention." How often do you find yourself lost in the alternate world of your eating disorder, obsessing over calories and food and weight, shaming yourself for past behaviors and planning future eating/exercising behaviors? How does your participation in this other world keep you from experiencing the real world that surrounds you and unfolds before you in the here and now? Is this desirable, undesirable, or both? What do you get to avoid? What do you miss out on?
Control and the here and now Posted by The Joy Project
in Eating in the Light of the Moon at
07:48
Comments (0) Trackbacks (0) Sunday, July 27. 2008AddictionDr. Johnston suggests that disordered eating is a process addiction rather than a substance addiction. You are addicted to the behaviors of your eating disorder, not to a substance (food). Have you ever thought of your eating disorder as an addiction? In what ways is it like or unlike other addictions? Dr. Johnston explains that addictions "remove us from realities we find intolerable. They provide escape routes away from the conflicts and dilemmas we find unsolvable." They may also "throw us into a state of unconsciousness", into a trance where we feel nothing, know nothing, or give us an intoxicating "high". Have you had any of these experiences? Is this a conscious process for you or are you yet unaware of what you might be escaping from? What does your answer mean for your recovery journey?
Addiction Posted by The Joy Project
in Eating in the Light of the Moon at
07:09
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